Sticking Around

I was raised by my mother who loves the Lord very much.  I grew up attending her Christian church and heard about the love of God from pastor's sermons and Sunday School teacher.  Back then, Christianity was comfortable and familiar and it did not really require me to talk to other people except for the occasional fellowship singing, which was always very awkward really.  I was a shy boy growing up and I rarely talked with anyone.  When I went to High School and College, I did not care for the Lord anymore.  School gave me the chance to come out of my shell and excel in my studies.  Church life became a chore, a necessary inconvenience.  When invitations to youth camps and retreats were given to me, I thought of excuses to not join.  At that point, I felt Christianity was increasingly getting uncomfortable and unfamiliar.  When I looked at my churchmates, I saw absolutely nothing in common with them and I sought the solace of my school and barkada.  School, with all its secular ideals and crazy friends was home.  Church was more like an embarrassing family you are afraid to introduce to your friends.

It all changed when I had to work in Manila after College.  Alone in a big city, I was lonely and spent most of my time to myself.  One time a good Christian friend lent me a book called "Can Man Live Without God?" by Ravi Zacharias.  It started within me a desire for God.  Soon, I was attending Sunday evening services in CCF St. Francis because it was the nearest church to where I lived.  I knew at that point that I needed to get right with God.

In 2008, I came back to Cebu for good.  Together with my ex-girlfriend Vanessa, we went to CCF every Sunday.  Then as now, we heard constant encouragement from the pastors to join small groups which they called Discipleship Groups or DGroups.  I thought it was a good thing to join, but I was too shy.  I knew I had to share my life with other people and I did not care for that.  I felt it was too messy, too inconvenient.  I also thought I was very busy, but really I watched TV for hours.  Drawing from my childhood experience of Church, I felt it was best to keep it at a purely-Sunday morning basis.  After that, I can get on with my life being a Christian.

Soon, I was tired of a boring life without any spiritual breakthroughs.  I've grown weary of my habitual sins and felt I needed to have people around me who can help and check on me.  Along that time, Pastor Steven already saw me as a regular churchgoer and chatted with me before the services started.  He always encouraged me to join a DGrp.  Soon after that, Vanessa and I dropped two pieces of paper in the tithebox with our contact information.  Soon a guy named Caloi texted me and scheduled me to join his DGrp.

My first DGrp meeting started with only three of us.  I shared briefly about myself, making sure not to go very personal, and listened to the other two.  Each one talked quietly and assuredly.  No one was argumentative.  They were brutally honest yet remarkably humble.  So these were Christian men, I thought.  Although there were only 3 of us, I made a commitment to God and I decided to stick around.  I came back week after week. 

Slowly the group grew as more and more men joined us.  Eventually, it became so big that we had to break into smaller groups.  Soon, Caloi challenged me to lead the group.  Obviously, I felt ill-equipped, pretentious and embarrassed to take on the task.  I prayed about it and was convinced that that was what the Lord wanted me to do.  I made a commitment to God and I decided to stick around.

Right now, I lead a group of nine men who I love as my brothers.  I did not want to share my life at first, but when I learned to open my life to them, they opened their lives to me and blessed me tremendously.  Every week, I get a front row seat to the story that God is writing in their lives.  I saw God move the heart of my brothers to love only Jesus and seek fulfillment in Him alone.  I prayed side by side with my brothers and waited with them for the Lord's answers to their prayers.  Some were answered, some were not.  In all their victories, we celebrated together; in their times of need, we prayed earnestly.  As for me, I have broken down in front of my brothers confessing to them my weaknesses knowing with absolute certainty that I will not be judged but will only be prayed for.

Last year, before I got married to my ex-girlfriend and now wife, Vanessa, my Dgroup brothers threw me I think the world's most wholesome bachelor's party.  Crossing over from singlehood to married life, I feel comfort in knowing that wherever I may be going in life, I have my gang of Jesus-lovers who will readily encourage me, pray for me, and also rebuke me when needed.

This is one of the greatest joys of my life: I used to know about God, but now I know God for myself.  I see Him in the lives of my brothers, he is dwelling in their praises and ever present in their times of need.

Looking back, I think I would have missed a lot if I had not dropped my contact information in the tithe box.  I would have spent years alone as a Christian, with no one to help me grow in the faith.  I would have missed out on Christian men who will pray for me in my weakness, and whom I can pray for in turn.  Indeed, it is easier to run the race of the faith when you run side by side with friends who love the Lord.

Share your life to Christians, make a commitment to God and decide to stick around.