My friend's 15-year-old son was chatting on the Internet, and, like many, began to exaggerate his accomplishments. He came running into the study and blurted to his father, "Dad, I'm talking to this girl in a chat room. I told her I'm a first-year university student and she asked me what my major is. What should I tell her?"
"How about journalism?" his father replied, smiling wryly.
Moments later, the boy returned and excitedly announced, "I can't believe it -- she's a swimsuit model!"
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Powering up my office computer one morning, I saw a unique error message: "Keyboard undetected."
Then I saw how I was supposed to clear the error: "Press any key to continue."
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A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet shop to buy a monkey. The store owner shows him three monkeys and begins, "The one on the left costs five hundred dollars."
"Why so much?" the customer wants to know.
"Because," the shopkeeper explains, "he can program a computer in 'C.'"
"What about that monkey?" the man asks indicating the next animal.
"He costs fifteen hundred dollars because he knows how to program in Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."
The startled patron then inquires about the third monkey.
"He's worth three thousand dollars," the store owner replies.
"Three thousand dollars!" the man exclaims. "What can he do?"
"To be honest." the merchant confesses, "I've never seen him do a thing, buut he calls himself a consultant."
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