after waiting for almost an hour for her, i dragged my mother to Big Mao for some good 'ol chow down. funny thing, my mother, she loves good food but she has trouble eating anything that (1) she cannot pronounce, (2) she cannot cook herself, (3) did not resemble anything she would actually recognize in its natural state, and (4) is not too salty, too sweet, too sour, in short, something that will not give you an ailment ten years after consumption. but because of some consistent referrals from friends to try the place out for some weeks now, i finally gave in to my inner connoisseur and took a bite off the Big Mao, to the dismay of my mother.
allow me the indulgence of a critique.
upon entering the place, my mother immediately declared the food bad since there were very few people dining. the fact that it was four in the afternoon was lost in her. we were greeted by a smiling waitress who promptly greeted us and directed us to a corner table. i hated the fact that the whole interior design was of the same color as my mother's uniform -- orange. it was like she totally belonged there! the whole play on my psyche was all too familiar: it has long been discovered that orange has the tendency to make a person hungry. hmmm...
waitress once again arrives with the menu and introduced herself as Em-em. like, "before anything else, my name sir-maam, is Em-em". Ooo-kay, Em-em, my name is brian and this is my beautiful mother louella, we are very glad to meet you... before anything else. i'm not kidding. she really introduced herself.
as i was not particularly hungry, i ordered the seasonal mixed vegetables (i like veggies), japanese siomai (i love siomai, and a japanese rendition is just too intriguing), and scallop and shrimp dumplings (... why not!). Em-em took notes, repeated the order and left with the customary expression, "for a while, sir-maam".
what is it with the whole sir-maam idea?! after careful philosophizing, i have come up with three probable reasons: (1) Em-em thinks i am a hermaphrodite, a veritable he-she. the whole while, she had been referring to me and me alone, for she has not seen my mother who was completely camouflaged by the interior design. (2) Em-em thinks my mother and i are one person, i.e., we are one and the same, therefore we, as one entity, must not be given the distinctive pause between 'sir' and 'maam'. (3) Em-em is sick and tired of the more common variation 'maam-sir'.
after three minutes, Em-em returns to the table. "I would like to apologize, sir-maam. but we cannot serve the seasonal mixed vegetables." I told her that was too bad and asked her why. she said the ingredients have not been delivered that day. i asked for another copy of the menu and was quite intrigued with one item: ‘mixed vegetables’. i inquired what the difference was between 'seasonal mixed vegetables' and 'mixed vegetables'. Em-em informed us that the former has seasonal vegetables while the latter did not. this greatly intrigued me, as (1) the Philippines does not have a seasonal climate and (2) we do not have seasonal vegetables as a result. Maybe that is why there were no seasonal vegetables delivered that day. mother ordered the other vegetable mix variation anyway.
the food arrived and mother hated the dumplings, ate one japanese siomai (which turned out to be just siomai but wrapped in sushi seaweed wrap) and ate all the broccoli and cauliflower from the veggie dish. oh well. thirty minutes into the dinner i forgot the food and was totally caught up in the conversation. it was a pretty shallow conversation.
that should speak something of the food.
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